You Evil Son Of A-
by Notsae
Summary: Madara really didn't expect to go to any sort of paradise when he died for the last time. Sure, at the time he thought himself the savior but he was admittedly quite insane. But he certainly never even considered this an option. OOC-Madara Gamer-Madara Mass Crossover
1. Chapter 1

**You Evil Son Of A-**

 **Disclaimer: Properties are owned by their respective owners.**

" _ **Condolences; you have failed in your quest and fallen to foes you never knew you had. The 'Eye of The Moon Plan' has failed. However, here at the end of your life you are given another chance to do whatever you desire. I recommend checking the options menu before you start anew."**_

"Who are you?" I ask, strangely more curious than disturbed. Though I was no stranger to death, it was never a pleasant experience and I most certainly had never experienced this.

" _ **I am the user interface for the game you now call life. You were never aware of this because up until now you have never truly died and the HUD is disabled by default. Your life is and always has been a game. There are many benefits to this and very few true drawbacks. Common side effects of learning of this fact include, but are not limited to: Unquenchable lust for power, desire to murder others for Exp, psychopathic tendencies, short-term thoughts of and/or aspirations of Godhood, antisocial behavior, and committing mass murder. I don't think you'll have any real issue with these though…"**_

"So what exactly does this mean for me?"

" **Look to your left."**

I dubiously followed the strange intelligences guidance and saw another box; this one with a list of options instead of advice.

 **Load**

 **New Game**

 **New Game+**

 **Options**

The Load button was grayed out and I could not interact with it.

" _ **Press Options"**_

I was significantly less dubious now (after checking over thirty two thousand times for genjutsu and finding none) I selected as instructed and was met by the following options.

 **Audio**

 **Visual**

 **Controls**

 **Gameplay**

" _ **You should go through all of these but I recommend checking**_ **Gameplay** _**first."**_

Shrugging, I tapped **Gameplay** and was somehow very happy and immensely dissatisfied with what I saw.

 **Difficulty: Survival**

 **HUD: Disabled**

 **Thought Commands: Disabled**

 **Subtitles: Disabled**

 **Guide: Disabled**

" _ **Subtitles will visually show you what people within your hearing are saying; might be useful; might distract you. Turn on the HUD and Thought Commands or else this whole thing will be pointless or at least way more difficult than it has to be."**_

At this point I was barely coherent and just near blindly following the Guide's advice. Turning both on I opted to turn the difficulty all the way down to very easy, because fuck failing ever again. Losing sucks and I don't fucking care about fairness at this point.

" _ **A wise decision, but don't forget to enable me or you'll be on your own for figuring this all out once you start anew."**_

Starting to come to at this point, I simply decided this was most likely a good idea; besides who wants to lose their only lifeline?

" _ **Alright, now go through the rest of the options before you decide what to do next."**_

After briefly looking through the other options I returned to the main menu, starting to understand the depths of what I have stumbled into.

" _ **Now you must decide between starting completely over as either yourself or someone else with none of your abilities or keeping your abilities. I would think this an easy choice"**_

"Keeping my powers, and fuck it, I'm gonna start anew somewhere else. I have died too many times in the pursuit of peace to give a shit anymore; nobody wants peace? Well fuck them then; they can have endless war and suffering for all I care." So I was rather indignant about dying again, sue me. Pressing **New Game+,** I felt an odd sensation of falling and twisting. When the feeling stopped, the first sensation that reached me was the smell of sea water.


	2. Chapter 2

**Where In The Fuck…?**

"Where in the fuck am I," or at least that's what I tried to say: all that actually came out was a series of inarticulate screams in a much higher pitch than I remembered having.

 _ **"Welcome to your new life as the Gamer. Think pause."**_

 _'Pause:'_ as soon as I thought it, the world (of which I was only tangentially aware of) seemed to freeze as an icy blue filtered over my blurry vision. A box of slightly darker blue appeared before me with similar choices to the previous "Death Screen" I had seen.

 **Save**

 **Load (Grayed out once again)**

 **Options**

 **Inventory**

 _ **"When you pause, the world freezes: you won't age, but you can't move from the spot nor can you interact with anything but me and the menus. You do not need to pause to access things like your inventory; an infinite storage space in which anything you can lift, can be stored indefinitely without the degradations of time affecting them, or stats; but I would recommend pausing anyways, as it gives you time to think and plan. Check stats first, if you would."**_

Tapping the button, I was met with yet another screen (obviously) displaying my stats

 **Stats:**

 **HP: 10/10,000**

 **CP: 1,000,000/1,000,000**

 **KP: 250/250**

 **MP: 250/250**

 **STR: 500(-490)**

 **INT: 654**

 **AGI: 786(-776)**

 **PER: 1,000(+35)**

 **CHR: -1,000,000,000**

 **LUK: 100**

 **END: 100,000**

 **Skill Points To Spend: 0**

 **Perks:**

 **Heir Of Indra: (Passive) You have thick and vile chakra: this gives you increased stores and makes even average jutsu stronger, however, any who sense it, will be disgusted and most will revile you.**

 **Strong Chakra: (Passive) Your power isn't all Indra; some of that evil is yours. You chakra is naturally thrice as dense as a normal shinobi and its darkness is evident.**

 **Rinne Sharingan: (Active) You have achieved the ultimate form of the Sharingan and Rinnegan; you have thusly replaced both stats with this superior version. Both Rinnegan and Sharingan skills are available to you. Congrats. (+5 PER(sharingan)) (+10 PER(Mangekyo Sharingan)) (+20 PER(Rinnegan) (+1 to Immortality)**

 **Juubi Jinchuuriki: (Passive/Active) You have the Juubi residing within you giving you a massive boost to your chakra and giving many other benefits; come on, do I really need to tell _you_ how awesome this is? (+1 to immortality)**

 **Amazing Hair: (Passive) Your hair is just goddamn gorgeous and nothing can ruin that. Even if you were to be just a skull, you would be a skull with goddamn amazing hair.**

 **Newborn: (Passive) You're a goddamn baby. You can't do shit. Bitch. Health and all physical skills set at ten for the next 3 years. Enjoy!**

 **Skills**

 **Taijutsu: 90**

 **Ninjutsu: 800**

 **Kenjutsu: 760**

 **Genjutsu 1,200**

 **Fuinjutsu: 430**

 **Juinjutsu: 370**

 **Science: 73**

 **Swimming: 23**

 **Chakra Enhancement: 137**

 **Summoning: 13**

 **Bartering: -270**

 **Stealth: 342**

 **Elemental Jutsu: 75**

"What the fuck is this bullshit! I'm stuck with this bullshit **Newborn** Perk for three goddamn YEARS!"

 _ **"** ** _No_ use cryin' 'bout it. Bitch."**_

"You do not seem like the amiable fellow from before… who are you?" The query was legitimate; this rather abrasive version of the guide was quite different... and annoying.

 _ **"YOUR NEW GOD! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Nah, I'm just fuckin' wit'cha. I'm the other guide, the one who took over when the old guy kicked it."**_

"The guide died? I didn't know that was even possible…"

 _ **"It's not, fuckstick; he just got replaced because the author felt I would bring more humor to the story and be more fun to write."**_

"Oh… wait what?! Author?! What lies are you spewing? Madara Uchiha Is no mere fable for fools and children, and foolish children."

 _ **"Forget I said anything: you aren't supposed to know that. So if we can just sweep that under the rug and get back to... you're already having a break down aren't you? {sigh} Alright, your whole life is merely a story meant to entertain the reading (and viewing) masses, and this story in particular, is not entirely canon."**_

"My life is a lie… it's all pointless… all my work, futile… "

 _ **"Well that's not entirely..."**_

 **"FUCK IT! FUCK EVERYONE! FUCK PEACE! FUCK THE WORLD! FUCK THE GODS! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, FUCK YOU!"**

"Would you like to read 'your' story… maybe?"

…

…

…

...Yes…

...


	3. Chapter 3

**I AM UCHIHA MADARA AND I DEMAND YOUR RESPECT!**

One brief reading of the entire Naruto series later…

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT! I'M NOT EVEN THE MAIN FUCKING CHARACTER! THE FUCK! Uchiha Madara is no mere antagonist, I'm a fucking hero goddamn it; how many people do I have to kill before they get that through there malformed six inch skulls."

" _ **I don't know, you seem kinda villainy to me."**_

"You don't get an opinion, damn it! And why was that retarded orange brat the fucking protagonist, I'm a way better hero than him."

" _ **You jelly bro?"**_

"Madara Uchiha is jealous of no man!"

" _ **You seem pretty jelly to me."**_

…

…

…

" _ **You mad bro?"**_

…

...Fuck you…


	4. Chapter 4

**The Power Of YOUTH!**

"Being a baby sucks," Seriously, being helpless and totally reliant on others fucking blows. Have _you_ ever been the former nightmare of a planet only to be reduced to a feeble infant? No? Then fuck off with all your petty bullshit complaints; my problems are definitely worse than yours. Besides, I'm just straight up better than you. Bitch, I'm Madara.

" _ **Fuckin' shutup pissbag. Your incessant whining isn't going to make it any better. So you're a kid and ya can't train ya body fer shit, train your damn mind and ya gamer powers fuckwit; you obviously need to work on the peabrain o' yours."**_

"...Fuck you…"

" _ **Ya gonna train or what?"**_

"Yes, but not because you-"

" _ **JUST FUCKIN' DO IT ALREADY! Goddamn, kids today…"**_

And so I began to plan whilst simultaneously focusing on my environment. I was aware of two things for sure: 1; I have no idea where or even when I am. And 2; I am not going to waste my time bring peace to the ungrateful fucks that call themselves human, especially in a world that may not even be my own. My only plan so far is to just fuck around, maybe kill some people and blow up some villages; might start a war or two just for fun.

" _ **That seems unlike you."**_

"You die four times and tell me you still give a shit about your childhood dreams. I tried to save them, I really did. But I see now that you cannot save those who do not wish to be saved. I will not waste my time on a pointless endeavor made even more irrelevant by this not even being my world."

" _ **Wiser words you have never said."**_

"You mentioned training my gamer abilities, how would I go about that?"

" _ **Think 'Observe'."**_

' **Observe'** , truthfully I didn't know what to expect but,

 **Wood Ceiling: A primitive ceiling made of poor quality wood, a harsh wind wood level this shit hovel in seconds**

 **Gained skill: Observe**

 **Observe lets you see in detail(depends on level) what an object or person is. HIgher levels show more detail and will extrapolate on details given.**

I was surprised I had only now gained such a useful ability. This had so much potential it was stunning. "I am going to spam the shit out of this ability."

" _ **{sniff sniff} I'm so proud."**_

From then on I would never merely observe anything, no I would **Observe** instead. I knew full well this could flood my mind with years worth of useless information but I would be able to know damn near everything about anything I saw.

"Any more advice to bestow upon me?"

" _ **When you get older stick your hand in the air and shout 'ID: Create, you'll only need to shout it a few times before it levels up enough that you can just say it or think it."**_

I decided to try it right now and was met with a resolutely disappointing and infuriating message.

 **Newborns cannot use magic. Bitch.**

" **FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-"**


	5. Chapter 5

**Fucking Finally**

After 3 _loooooong_ years of being babied and defenseless I was finally rid of that damnéd **Newborn** perk. I could finally truly train! Fraptuous day!

"Fucking. Finally. Now to begin my training regiment."

" _ **And what would that be?"**_

"Make some weight seals set at twenty thousand pounds and proceed to do two million push ups, four million sit ups, three million pull ups one hundred thousand laps around this fucking hovel and-"

" _ **You do realize that will kill you right? Infant bodies can not survive that much strain and it will not bring you strength up; with how young you are you'll either die or you'll stunt your growth, or both."**_

"The fuck are you talking about?"

" _ **You are still a kid, therefore your body can only handle limited strain. Cut that regiment down and maybe you can actually survive it, maybe even benefit; but as is you'll die for sure."**_

"Well then, what do _you_ recommend, hmm?"

" _ **Do a thousandth of that, slowly increasing the difficulty. If you increase it slow enough you should be nearly an adult by the time you're doing the full regiment."**_

"Grumble grumble bitch whine rassafrasin…"

" _ **Just fucking do it and you damn well won't regret it."**_

"Fine… Dick"

" _ **Thank you!"**_

…

…

…

"Fuck you."

" _ **Are you gonna train or what?"**_

"Yes, yes I am."


	6. Chapter 6

**Because Childhood Is Annoying**

Having discovered that I was residing on a rather small island and thoroughly interrogating my parents (whose names I didn't bother learning) and the two other people who lived here and still not finding out the name of this forsaken planet, I decided to head out to sea. Because fuck it, I can just walk to the next island… if there is one. After killing several large shark like creatures I heard a ding and was met with a new message.

 **You have leveled up! Congratulations!**

 **Skill points to assign: 10**

 **Please choose one of these three perks:**

 **LIfe Drain: Drain the life from your foes, grow stronger as they perish! Drains at a rate of 0.1% per second at a range of one meter. Leveling up will increase damage, range, and enable it to drain things like chakra, souls, or magic.**

 **Granite skin: Turns your skin to granite and allows you to withstand heavier blows at the cost of being immobile. Higher levels will increase density of skin and allow for limited mobility.**

 **Terrifying Speed: Allows you to move at damn near the speed of light at the cost 325 HP per second during use.**

Briefly startled by this new occurrence I dumped all my skill points into **INT** because being smarter is never a bad thing. After a few seconds deliberation I decided to pick up **Life Drain** ; partially because it seemed the most useful and partially because I would love to see the terror in people's eyes as I literally suck the life out of them. I mean, how cool is that? I have an attack that can rip the life from your body to make me stronger, sorta like the Absorption Soul Technique but with better range and greater scope of effect.

" _ **Congratulations cunt bucket, ya leveled up; putting you at level two."**_

"If I could find you I'd kick you to pieces…"

" _ **Yeah, but'cha can't so ya won't. Best just get the fuck over it."**_

"Grumble grumble… I shoulda got a boat because there is fucking nothing out here," I said as I stared out into the vast blue emptiness of the sea; my rinnegan active as I try to see past the sun streaked horizon. Even my powerful eyes could see nothing but sparkling blue for miles around. "Where the fuck am I?"

 _ **Three_Days_Later**_

" _ **You see that, land! just over there!"**_

"YES, FUCKING FINALLY! I thought I was going to dehydrate to death. Now I just need to get some water(by whatever means necessary) and a fucking boat and I'll be good to go." The island was small but none the less I could see buildings from here, they were small and rather primitive wood and stone huts but buildings mean people and people mean water!

Dashing over to the village so fast it looked like I teleported (Which in hindsight I probably should have), I arrived to find no one was present. "Where is everyone? Shouldn't someone be here? These houses are still intact so I doubt they were raided but none the less no one is here."

" _ **I have no idea but regardless you need to find something to drink before you keel over and die. Check the houses for water and maybe some food!"**_ Nodding, I did just that going into the nearest house; a small one story stone hut with a thatched roof and a thin chimney sticking out. Finding a sink, I was mildly surprised to see that they had running water; surprised but very pleased.

After drinking my fill I began exploring in earnest, finding little of interest and still no signs of what happened to drive everyone away. Meals were left still hot at their seats and doors were oft left unlocked and open. "I would think some sort of poison but where are all the bodies? Did someone collect them?" Suddenly flipping backwards as the ground exploded before me (and annoyedly swiping away the screens telling me I had gained the skills **Danger Sense** and **Acrobatics** ); before I had even hit the ground I had my Mangekyo out and scanning for threats.

" _H_ _ **e**_ _h_ _ **eHE**_ _HE_ _ehe_ _ **Heh**_ _EHe_ _ **HE**_ _HeHaHA!_ _ **L**_ _O_ _ **o**_ _K At TH_ _HH_ _H_ _ **hh**_ _Hhha_ _ **a**_ _aAa_ _ **AaA**_ _aaAt! THe LIt_ _ **tL**_ _e rAt Do_ _ **Dg**_ _ **e**_ _D mY_ _At_ _ **t**_ _ **A**_ _C_ _ **k!**_ _**h**_ _O_ _W UN_ _fo_ _ **Rt**_ _ **U**_ _N_ _ **Ate!**_ "

"Who are you?" I was looking all around from my position floating thirty feet in the air, a clone having taken my place and using a little something I stole from Mū to stay hidden. Even with my birds eye view I couldn't find anyone in or even around the village; even **Observing** everything in sight merely flooded my mind with a bunch of useless information. 'Who or what the fuck are we dealing with here?'

" _ **I have no idea, my knowledge of this world only includes cannon and I'm pretty sure that would be useless right about now! ON YOUR LEFT, LOOK OUT!"**_ Swiftly dodging yet another explosive attack from my unknown enemy and spinning to avoid the follow up attack; as I did I saw a man floating in midair with a strange fiery golden glow around him. His blue eyes seemed to glow from behind his blond hair.

" _ **Oh… Oh shit. That's a saiyan… you need to pause, right now."**_ Following the advice that had yet to let me down I watched as the world was overcome by a creeping dull blue.

"What was that? You mentioned a Say-on?"

" _ **Saiyan and it's not the reason I had you pause. That overconfident ass hole almost certainly just awakened his first transformation and now he thinks he's god, you can easily surprise and murder that dipshit. No, what bothers me is that he's**_ **here** _ **at all. I was not aware this was a three way crossover… before you kill him use**_ **Soul Absorption** _ **. Also, you're gonna want to practice**_ **Life Drain** _**if there are gonna be more of them in the future like I suspect."**_

"Alright, should I be worried?" I was only aware of a few people that could fly under their own power and all of them were considered legends after all.

" _ **Not of him but of what he represents. If this guy here exists that means other things from his dimension are likely here too and most things from that world can blow up planets at least; some can kill solar systems in one blast."**_

"So what you're saying is: I need to train more?" I was more than okay with that.

" _ **{Sigh} Yes, you need to train more. Now unpause and kill this fuckstick!"**_

Doing just that I was forced to dodge as a blast of energy was sent at me(I had abandoned Mū's technique in my surprise(in my defense I had only used it once before)). Quickly sending a fire dragon at the bastard, I teleported behind him and ax kicked him in the back of the head while he was distracted. Popping up below him I summoned a chakra rod into my hand and impaled him sideways through both lungs.

As he fell swiftly to the earth I was already there. Seeing that he still had enough fight in him to throw another blast at me I **Bansh** **ō Ten'in** ed the son of a bitch and **Life Drained** him when he got in range. "You lose."

" _Hnnn..."_

"Now I have to read your mind."

" _Hnnnn?"_

"By ripping out your soul."

" _HNNNN!"_

"NINGENDO! The fuck is this…?" I have no idea what I was seeing, swirling colors and strange shapes. Finally the semi-disturbing images settled into a view of a the man's first memory… it only got worse from there.

" _ **So we're at the start of Z… why was there another saiyan though… and a super saiyan at that?"**_ Having no idea what any of that meant and being a little out of it from going through that deranged psychotic's mind, I didn't have the energy to truly question my… companion.

 _ **"Don't worry about it, at least not yet."**_


	7. Chapter 7

**The Deadly Doctor**

" _ **I suggest you train your new energies, such as Ki and Magic. They will benefit you greatly when we have to fight others with similar abilities. I also suggest gathering a crew, it'll make grabbing the One Piece easier."**_

"One Piece? What is that and why should I search for it?"

" _ **Not going to comment on the whole 'gather a crew' thing?"**_

"I was the one who trained Obito and I fought in wars for nearly all my life, I am not averse to being a leader of groups large and small; and I certainly understand the benefits of having back up and delegating tasks. Now, you're avoiding the question: what is One Piece?"

" _ **The One Piece is the legacy of Gol D. Roger, the former king of pirates. The One Piece was used as a means of undermining the World Government and their Marines. It is theoretically the largest amount of gathered wealth and knowledge in the world. At his execution he declared that if anyone wanted it they could have it; if they could get to first. To posses the One Piece is to be the new king of pirates and to be the uncontested strongest man on the planet. Considering the saiyan we saw and just how ludicrously weak and pathetic he was (and the fact that he had no scanner), I doubt that this planet will be under attack soon by anything you cannot counter; however it is inevitable that the… unique resources of this planet will be discovered and many, many people will come looking for the quick power boost."**_

"So I'm to become a pirate then? Ehh, why not? I don't have anything better to do anyway. TIME TO RAPE AND PILLAGE! WOOOO! Wait, what 'unique resources' are you talking about?"

" _ **Devil Fruits. They grant you one potentially incredible powerful or downright stupidly useless powers in exchange for your ability to swim and giving you a rather significant weakness to seastone, the hardest material on the planet."**_

"So not worth my time then I presume?" New weaknesses are never a good thing, especially when what you gain isn't guaranteed to be even remotely worth it.

" _ **No, most likely not. You have plenty of power already and an ability to rapidly grow stronger thanks to your Gamer status. Speaking of, you should see about using those points you gained from killing the saiyan; I'm pretty sure you leveled up. Also, check his body for anything of use."**_

After thoroughly searching the arrogant fool of saiyan and finding nothing of interest, I cut off and sealed his head before burning his body; I had no desire to see this fool resurrected and I personally had no use for him. I took his head in case he had a bounty(though i doubted it) he was in no way worthy of being a trophy (other than being the first sentient life form I killed in this world and the first saiyan). I set out to find myself a crew… and a boat. As I was walking something occurred to me. "You know, that saiyan doesn't explain why everyone is missing on this island. He really didn't seem the sort to employ any form of subtlety."

" _ **I Agree, we still don't know what happened he-"**_

"Hello good sir, how are you on this fine day?"

I quickly jerked around trying to find the source of the voice, I was shocked at what I saw. There standing behind me dressed in a black suit and fedora with a metal attaché case in his hand… was a skeleton wearing a rubber mask of a cheery old man. "Who… what are you?"

"Me? I'm a doctor, Dr. Sawbones to be specific. And you are?"

"Madara Uchiha. Dr. Sawbones? Really, fucking sawbones? What, Murderer McPsychopath taken?" I noticed he hadn't acknowledge being a skeleton but I was new to this world and skeletons might be perfectly normal for all I knew.

" _ **There not. There are some undead in this world but only rarely and very few living skeletons."**_ So I should be wary of this… Doctor.

"I'll have you know the Sawbones name is a very well respected name in the under- IN society" Under? As in Underworld? Curious… and apparently his name is a sore point for him.

"You must admit it's a very strange name to humans But as I can see you're not human I understand why you wouldn't understand that." I wanted to see how he would react to his extraordinarily weak cover being blown.

I watched his posture stiffen for a moment before he swung the briefcase at me. As I dodged the blow he flicked numerous scalpels at me from his free hand, they slid out of his sleeve so fast it looked (to any inferior eyes) like they had simply appeared out of thin air. Blocking the scalpels with a chakra rod(damn I need some kunai) in one hand I formed a hand seal with the other and blew a fireball at him.

Searching the smoke I dodged a bonesaw aimed at my neck from the side and thrust my chakra rod at the 'good' doctor sliding it right between his ribs. Unfortunately he had no actual organs and the blow meant nothing, however I jammed the rod down and cracked his ribs apart.

He jumped back, holding a hand to his ribs; the mask on his face was grimacing now. Apparently the mask can change expression, Interesting. He flicked more scalpes at me and I used **shinra tensei** to send them right back at him. My sharingan predicted where he would land as he dodged and I sent a lightning infused water bullet at him. The bullet struck true and he was blown apart in a shower of bones and medical equipment(manly scalpels and saws).

I approached the pile that used to be a doctor and was mildly surprised when I heard his voice coming from his now maskless skull.

"Good shot, my boy. However I will regenerate from this damage and we might well be fighting forever. How droll." I was about to ningendo the smug bastard when the guide(I really need to think up a name for him) interrupted.

" _ **He said he was a doctor right? If you're gonna start a crew having a nigh unkillable doctor who was capable of injuring you in a fight will be a significant boon."**_ He Injured me? I looked down and saw numerous scalpels imbedded in my chest, my regeneration starting to push them out.

"You raise a good point, though I could just rip out your soul. However, you mentioned being a doctor; are you any good?"

"Am I any good? Boy I'm the best doctor in the underworld! I have stitched so many zombies and demons together in my time I've lost count." Apparently he no longer felt a need to keep his origins a secret from me.

"Could you work on humans?" If he couldn't then this whole thing would be pointless.

"Well yes, that's why I came here, my boy. I wanted to see if zombie and human anatomy was close enough for me to easily expand my skills. The only difference I noticed was that people die a lot easier and tend to bleed a lot." I didn't ask if his 'patients' were willing or not; I really didn't care.

"Well, in that case I have an offer for you. You see I'm starting a pirate crew and I find myself in need of a doctor. You see where I'm going with this, right?"

"You want me to join you, right? Why should I?"

"Well, for one I can offer you a limitless supply of people to study and experiment on or whatever you plan on doing with them, I can offer adventure, fame, fortune, and companionship. You seem to be quite lonely here on this empty island and I rather doubt you left this underworld of yours alone just to study humans; and even if you did why haven't you gone back?"

"Because I got kicked out…"

"What was that?" Heard him clearly but wanted him to say it louder, can't have a member of my crew having undealt with issues that could fuck us over later.

"{Sigh} I said I was kicked out…"

"Why?"

"For malpractice… I sorta killed the vampire king's son in surgery because he was a prick." So don't fuck with the medic, eh?

"We'll, killing crew members will not be tolerated unless I specifically tell you otherwise, but if you can keep from doing that I can promise you you will always have a place on my ship." I had learned in my delusional years seeking peace that loyalty could be bought with friendship given to the lonely. Though I didn't plan to betray my crew I did want them loyal.

"...Alright, I'm in."


	8. Chapter 8

**Man On Fire**

"Ya got a boat, my boy? And who else is in the crew?" We were exploring the village now that the doctor(who's name I had learned was Leeroy). He told me that yes he had murdered several people in this town but he had no idea what caused so many to vanish into thin air.

"Er, not yet… and you're my first member. No, that does not make you the First Mate, I've learned that role tends to go to the swordsman; since I don't have one yet I'll wait until I get one before deciding if you're more deserving of the title." Giles(the name I gave to the guide) had informed me of that little detail.

"Hmm, I get'cha, my boy. Since ya got no boat how are we gonna get outta here? I can't exactly swim being all bones ya know." He could probably float though I doubted he could actually direct his trajectory.

"I could probably create a rough ship with wood release but seeing how I have no idea what a boat needs I doubt it would get us very far very quick. When we get a proper shipwright I'll have him guide me through the shipbuilding process and have the whole ship be one giant piece of wood possible have the whole ship be an actual tree…" That would be a very good idea, the ship could be self repairing; thoughts for later. I had previously gave Leeroy a brief explanation of my abilities.

"As long as it doesn't fall apart or catch fire on the way." That was no real concern to me; wood from the wood release was nigh unbreakable if you're as good with it as I am and I knew how to make wood that would only burn under the flames of **Amaterasu**.

Eventually we had looted the whole village (using sealing scrolls to store anything we took) and decided to set out to sea. I used the wood release to make a small boat with a large leaf for a sail. We set out immediately(neither one of use needed sleep) and soon found ourselves falling to conversation in our boredom. I ended up explaining my abilities in greater detail and he eventually got some details on my past; though not everything. I learned that he hadn't be exaggerating when he claimed he was the best doctor in the underworld, though he had neglected to mention he was the _only_ doctor in the underworld. According to him the place was filled with "uneducated savages and belligerent fools", I was inclined to believe him.

 **Three_Days_Later**

Thankfully our supplies were holding steady(though Leeroy having no need to eat helped quite a bit) and we were set to last quite a bit longer. Neither of us had any knowledge of how to navigate on the open sea or even were we were in the world so we were just drifting randomly about; if I knew where we were going I could use a variety of jutsu to get us there quicker but I don't so I didn't.

"Hey, what's that over there? Whatever it is it's on fire." Looking out in the direction he pointed I saw what appeared to be a burning ship. Using **Observe** on it told me that the fires were unusually hot; though the fact that I could see green flames from here gave that away.

"We should check it out, might find something interesting."

"You go, I don't feel like catching fire today." He wouldn't die even if burned to ashes however it would be an unpleasant experience and he would be incapacitated for several days. I had learned that he did have chakra, though it was strangely 'cold' feeling, as if his chakra was just as dead as he was. I had been attempting to teach him how to access and channel his chakra and I believed he could make himself harder to break and burn with it. Hell, considering he was literally a skeleton I wouldn't be surprised if he had something similar to the **Shikotsumyaku.**

"Alright, see you in a few minutes." So saying I jumped to the burning ship, coating myself in a thin layer of near frozen water to protect myself from the flames.

Using my rinnegan to see through the smoke and flames I explored the ship. I checked every room but found nothing of value not burned to cinders; though I really hadn't expected anything. As I approached the center of the ship the fires grew more intense and started to transition from green to blue(having turned green when I went below deck). When I finally got to the mess hall dead center of the ship I saw a man standing in the center of the room. He was holding an eight foot nodachi in one hand as though it weighed nothing, I wondered if he was even aware he was holding it. The strange thing was that he and his sword seemed to be made of violet flames though his heart was… black. Now that's concerning, is his heart the flames of **Amaterasu?** That could be a problem…

"Who are you?"

" **I am Kaen."** Flame, huh? How unimaginative.

"This your doing?" I had seen the burning remains of the crew on my way here, though most were completely reduced to ashes some were intact enough to have visible sword wounds on them. I suspected this burning man was the killer, which implied he may be hostile.

He tilted his head to the side before responding in the same emotionless tone as before. " **Yes."**

Subtly casting an illusion to appear as if I was standing still I moved around behind him, **Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu** prepared to fire. My Illusion kept talking to him, "Oh, any particular reason?"

 **"They thought there pathetic restraints would stop me from burning my way to freedom; freedom they sought to take from me. I will not let you take my freedom."** So saying he launched a blast of blue flames at my illusion. As soon as he fired I shot off the **Suiryūdan** at his back.

Out of the steam a hand of violet flame launched out seeking my throat. Dodging back I fired several water bullets, to no apparent effect. As another blue blast roared towards me I decided to change tactics and launched a barrage of vacuum spheres at the man. The spheres seemed more effective but what flames were destroyed in the blast regenerated almost immediately after.

"I'm not trying to take your freedom from you!" I really wasn't, I had no interest in joining the slave trade thank you very much.

" **You lie."** Of course, why wouldn't the man made of flame be completely insane. Ducking under a swipe with his sword I jabbed him with a chakra rod between the ribs. I noticed as I dodged away from a diagonally upwards slash that the fire around the Black Receiver was dying down so I attempted to control him somewhat. Seeing the rod explode violently I presumed I had failed.

Watching the man reform from the flames I decided to fight fire with better fire. " **Amaterasu."** I sat back and watched the heavenly flames consume all before me. Deciding that the man was most certainly dead I killed the fire and was surprised to see some of the fire did not fade. Walking forward I discovered it was the man's heart and he was slowly reforming. Making a decision I used the rinnegans gravity manipulation to lift the heart into the air and take it with me.

Reaching the deck, I froze a circle in the middle and set the now torso in the center. I patently waited as the man reformed and woke up. "Hello again."

 **"...I am still alive. I am still free. Why?"**

"Because I see potential in you. Before I make my offer, can you turn your fire form off?" If he couldn't we might have a problem.

Instead of replying his flames simply started to die down before his 'true' form was revealed. He was a red haired man with bright golden eyes around a purple pupil, his skin was a dark red with thick black lines criss-crossing his body. He wore baggy black pants and black running shoes, his torso was bare except for a golden chain necklace with an amethyst scarab hanging from it.

"Well alright then. Now, how would you like to join my crew? I can offer fame, fortune, adventure, and (other than following my orders as captain) absolute freedom. If someone somehow captures or kills you I swear to hunt them down, torture and kill them; and free you if you still live." Avenging the fallen applied to every member of my crew, I will not let such an insult stand.

He tilted his head before replying, "I accept." Well, that was easier than expected.

I nodded, "Follow me to my temporary ship, I'll introduce you to the doctor." Nodding his acceptance he followed me to the edge of the ship, his every step melting the supposedly unmeltable ice beneath his feet. When we reached the edge I picked him up, calculated the force necessary to launch him to my ship and used a precision **Shinra Tensei.** I myself simply levitated there.

"I can fly under my own power." He somehow managed to sound indignant even with no emotion entering his voice.

"Hehehe… Didn't know that." I totally would have thrown him anyway. "Alright, Dr. Sawbones, Kaen. Kaen, Dr. Leeroy Sawbones. And I'm Madara Uchiha. Now that introductions are over, Kaen tells us what you bring to the crew." He was already in based on what I had seen during our fight, I just wanted to know his full capacity.

"I am capable of controlling and turning into fire of any intensity and temperature. I have mastered my flames up to violet and have begun to master black fire. I have a goal of creating a flame that produces no light thereby appearing to be merely a distortion in the air hotter than even my black flames, creating the perfect fire. I am a proficient swordsman and I am capable of unassisted flight." At that he stared blankly at me.

Interesting, so he sought to usurp Amaterasu ehh? I wonder if that's even possible…


	9. Chapter 9

**Welcome To The Team**

I finally decided to check my stats and was floored that I had leveled up five times.

 **You Have Leveled Up!** (x5)

 **Congratulations!** (x5)

 **Points To Spend: 30**

 **You Have reached Level 5**

 **Please choose one of these three perks:**

 **Wings Of The Fallen: Allows you to fly with burning black wings.**

 **Blade Of Hate: Allows you to infuse your bladed weapons with pure hatred, infuriating any who are cut by its edge, turning friends against each other over minor slights, making them act on violent impulses immediately, and turning those who are already angry into raging berserkers attacking friend and foe alike. Higher levels increase effect and decrease recharge time.**

 **Light Of Suffering's End: Allows you to once a day heal an ally completely of all wounds. Higher levels increase area of effect.**

After deciding where to place my points, I deliberated for a while before choosing **Blade Of Hate**. I would be able to infuse a small **Black Receiver** or senbon(when I got some) with the effect and cause an enemy to turn on his allies. At the end my stats were as such:

 **HP: 10,025/10,025**

 **CP: 1,000,100/1,000,100**

 **KP: 300/300**

 **MP: 450/450**

 **STR: 510**

 **INT: 670**

 **AGI 790**

 **PER: 1,005(+35)**

 **CHR: -1,000,000,000**

 **LUK: 103**

 **END: 10,002**

 **Points To Spend: 0**

Coming back to reality I found Dr. Sawbones staring at me, apparently I forgot to pause. "So what was that, boyo?"

"{Sigh} I told you of my past, yes?" I noticed Kaen watching as Dr. Sawbones nodded. "Well what I didn't tell you was that took place in another dimension. After I died for the fourth time I woke up in a dark void with a voice telling me this was a second chance to live again… and that my life was a game."

"That sounds like a load of bullshit, my boy." He had a point; if I were him I wouldn't believe me either.

" _ **Use the team system. Say 'Send Team Invite: Kaen and Leeroy."**_ following his advice I was met with a gasp and a tilted head, they both accepted.

"Alright, I believe you now. So what does this mean for us?"

"It means that you can visibly see your abilities, the results of your training and can more rapidly grow in strength. Say stats." As they followed my advice I was unsurprised to find that Kaen had Fire manipulation at level 23,000 and that Sawbones had bone manipulation at level 2, explaining how he could rapidly pull himself together. I would have to have him train that more thoroughly if he was ever to match or exceed the height of Kaguya clan.

"Now what?" Kaen, you're going to regret that.

"Now? Now, we TRAIN! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ehem, yes time to begin.


	10. Chapter 10

**Land Of Hate**

It has been three weeks since I informed my currently small crew of my status as a go- I mean Gamer, and training has been going relatively well. I had leveled up Life Drain four times(bringing it to level 5) and it had now caused targets to become sluggish and lethargic under its effects if sustained for more than 20 seconds; useful only in it's future potential do to my fighting style. Kaen was now capable firing violet flames cored with a minuscule amount of black and his fire form now had thin black lines spider webbing out from the core. Sawbones had learned to sharpen the tips of his fingers and ribs and could now fire his fingers with moderate accuracy(he regenerates them instead of retrieving them). I myself had learned to shoot small Ki blasts in vaguely the right direction and could minorly empower objects with my mana; neither of these were as efficient or effective as just using chakra but Giles insists that training this stuff is worth it and I'm not one to shirk extra training or leave new skills to languish in weakness. The only reason we had not advanced further was that even using **ID: Create** we were still on a small dinghy and I refused to expanded it for fear of capsizing the damn thing due to my absolute absence of knowledge related to making ships.

"Alright you two, time to begin meditating to unlock your chakra!" I had convinced Kaen that learning to use chakra could improve his fire and swordsmanship(the two things the stoic sack a bricks gives a shit about); Sawbones was much easier to convince(in fact he took no convincing at all). "Hopefully you can unlock it soon; then we can begin working on actually using it!" I took inspiration for my cheery tone from that fool Naruto and the ruse of my too- apprentice. While my students set about meditating I looked to the horizon for any signs of land; hopefully I could find an actually inhabited village this time. Seeing nothing I turned back to watch the younglings progress.

 **_ FOUR_HOURS_LATER_**

Nothing. They had made no progress whatsoever. I was unsurprised; unlocking chakra becomes harder harder as you get older and isn't exactly easy to start with. Glancing once more into the distance I saw faint light on the horizon; given the sun had just set, I could reasonably assume this lights meant either a bustling city… or the burning remains of one.

"That's enough for now. I see lights in the distance; which either means there's people or smoldering husks of them, either way there's supplies over their." Whether I had to buy/steal supplies or loot them from the remains didn't really matter to me.

"It is not flames." Ooooookkkkkkkaaaayyy… how does he know that? Asking him just that I was disgruntled to realize he had neglected to inform me of several of his abilities; such as the ability to sense fire within ten miles in every directions and to teleport through flames at half that range. Potentially useful but the fact that he didn't inform me of this is annoying.

Arriving at the as of yet unnamed island we pulled up next to a larger ship(Giles (and Observe) helpfully informed me was a fluyt) and climbed over the edge. Firing a **Black Needle** into a guard's neck as Kaen sword pierced the others; we were not here to make friends after all. "Alright, Doc you find the med bay. Kaen: go below deck, kill everyone you see, and mark anything of interest and do not set the ship on fire. I'm gonna clear the deck, kill the captain, and loot everything. Once everyone's dead we'll decide if this should be our temporary ship. Don't break the ship and don't make too much noise, we don't want to fight the whole island yet. Got it?" I may have set up a jutsu to stop noise from leaving the ship but I didn't know if anyone in the village could counter it and a ship bursting into flames is gonna call attention to us anyways; can't stop the fire from spreading even if I could stop people from seeing it.

"Affirmative./Got'cha, boyo." Nodding, I teleported up to the crow's nest and impaled the man from behind, piercing his heart with a chakra rod. Gently setting his body on the ground and proceeding to loot him of anything that Observe told me was valuable. Finishing that I **Kamui** -ed back to the deck with the body before heading Into the captain's cabin. Walking silently to the side of the sleeping man's bed I slit his throat and left(after obeying the call of looting). Heading below deck I encountered little resistance as Kaen and Sawbones diverging paths could clearly be seen. Deciding to following the scorched slashes and mildly charred corpses(Looting everyone of them) in the hopes they would lead to treasure(as I knew where Sawbones was heading).

Looking into an unopened door(and grumbling about being through goddamn it and kids today…) I was met with a dirk heading towards my throat. Easily redirecting the blow into the door frame, I slashed out with a jagged piece of metal(I had just begun practice with metal release). **(AN: In this story the rinnegan gives mastery over main elements and the rinne sharingan gives _access_ to sub-elements; ergo, Madara still needs to train them.)** Seeing my opponent dodge(though the tear in their cloths tells me they nearly failed) a small smile forced its way onto my face for but and ephemeral instant; Perhaps she could dance?

Shooting a blast of lightning infused water at the girl my smile returned as she once more dodged. Lighting my 'blade' with Amaterasu I flung it at her left side. She didn't expect the icicle I shot to her right though. "{Sigh} of course she couldn't truly dance; it seems no one can." Moving on after looting the room, I effortlessly cut down the minimal resistance I encountered even restricting myself to Metal Release only. How is it possible that a stealth mission where a whole island could turn on us whilst we murdered and looted an entire moderately large ship be so fucking boring?

I take it _alllllll_ back, that mountainous pile of gold makes of for _all_ my boring, pathetic fights. I immediately regretted trying to swim in the pile of gold. Note to self: gold maybe a soft metal but it is not soft enough to swim in. Watching the little counter representing my current wealth rapidly rise with near orgasmic pleasure as it settle on 20 million units of wealth… "Giles why does my counter not tell me what kind of currency I have?"

 _ **"Because you can summon anything from the beli of this world to the ryo of yours to even solid gold bricks. Have fun with that ya greedy bastard…"**_ Oh, I planned to.

Catching up to Kaen, I watched as he ruthlessly cut down the screaming sailors. Brings a tear to my eye to see such dedication in a subordinate. Deciding to be a cockblocking troll bag… I mean a helpful captain and fired an icicle through the last one's chest. Kaen turned to stare blankly at me; I grinned cheekily back at him… I think I might, just might be going insane. Maybe just a little.

 _ **"You are definitely absolutely completely batshit crazy. "**_

"And how would you know that?"

 _ **"Well for one; you're talking to a voice in your head."**_

"Yeah but my voices are real." Ha, undefeatable logic.

 _ **"Voices? I'm the only real voice in your head and even that's debatable."**_

"...No one asked you."

"So how's it goin' Kaen? Mission going well? Because I noticed that there's some scorch marks on the walls and that glowing blade of yours looks pretty hot to me. Now didn't I say something about, oh I don't know, NOT BURNING THE FUCKING SHIP! Ehem." I knew he could control the fires to not actually start; I just wanted to rile him up.

"I would not fail you captain. I am fully capable of killing the flames should the start." Staring at him for a few more moments, trying to see if I could visibly unnerve him; I could not.

"Alright ya stoic bastard, let's finish looting this place and go find the doctor." Walking down the hall I leaned back as a blade whipped over my head. Rolling to the left and jabbing a sharp metal spike into a dagger wielding man's chest while Kaens super-heated nodachi slices clean through the swordsman's blade… and body. Eyes quickly darting around I spotted another sadly unpunctured throat; I swiftly rectified this error with a spinning circular saw fired at high speed, taking her head clean off.

Dashing forth with a makeshift blade in each hand, I decapitated two other sailors in one swing before spinning left around a third; plunging both blades into his back and leaving them there. rotating rapidly to block a strike, I impaled yet another sailor on a metal spike through the heart. "These people are like wheat to the harvest!" Ducking under Kaen's blade in its path to another foes waist; I deflected a blade aimed at my neck and disemboweled the man before using his guts to strangle another mariner.

After hacking a man diagonally in two from the hip I searched the area only to find nothing. "It would appear all hostiles have been eliminated, sir."

"I can see that. Alright time to go find the good doctor." Seeing Kaen nod his head we set out to find Dr. Sawbones.

Finding only the mangled and oft mutated remains of what may have been humans at one point as we followed the doctor's twisted trail. "You know, the doctors a more twisted son-of-a-bitch then I though… where did he even get some of these poisons? And how did he even do that?" That was body whose arms and legs hand been swapped around and who's face and spun around his head. No, his head wasn't backwards; his face was on the back of his head.

"I have no idea, sir." Helpful as always, eh Kaen.

We found the doctor figuratively salivating over the equipment in the med bay and injecting some poor sucker full of a glowing purple liquid… even **Observe** has no idea what that is; I'll have to level that up.

"How's it goin' doc? Find anything of use?"

"Oh you won't believe the things I found here… you ever heard of the Blackwing virus?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Pillage The Village**

"No… what is it?" I was somewhat hesitant to ask, I wasn't one to fuck around with biological weaponry but I wouldn't _not_ use it either.

A disturbing grin flitted across the man's mask as he answered. "This is something the World Government would burn an entire sea to destroy. This virus builds up in the system then kills you… and once the majority of people on the island/boat/planet/whatever are killed it brings you back. Once it does the 'zombies' co-ordinate an attack on all survivors and attempt to spread the virus as far as they can. Unfortunately for the semi-sentient virus the 'zombies' can't survive unless there's a high percentage of the virus in the air. It has a 99.99% kill rate in all lifeforms... we could literally kill the planet with this little jar." Looking through the 'little jar'(which was infact a 55 gallon drum) with my rinnegan I was reminded of Zetsu… my desire to burn this whole ship is rising.

"And why should I not burn this whole ship right now? That sounds rather extremely dangerous." I was taking no chances if he didn't have a good enough excuse to keep this shit.

"Because I believe that I can quickly create an anti-virus to immunise us and any who join the crew(I myself am immune do to not actually being alive nor do I have flesh to infect) and do to it being semi-sentient I believe we could use those fancy eyes of yours to control it if I can't manage to find a scientific/alternate magic method to do so." The shine in those rubber eyes of his was rather creepy right about now… but those were some interesting points…

"You are only allowed to experiment within the **Kamui** dimension and/or an **Illusion Dungeon** , got it?" I was not going to even remotely fuck around with something this lethal… "When you think you've got at least a working antidote we'll release a small sample upon this island." Never let it be said that I was not a sadistic bastard. The doctor's growing maniacal grin would have assuredly unnerved lesser men; but not I: I am made of sterner stuff. Creepy bastard…

"I believe this may be a bad decision, sir. We posses no method of ascertaining whether or not the virus will spread to the whole planet; the wind could take the virus or it could travel with people who leave on ships with or without knowing they are infected."

"A good point. Doctor, your rebuttal?" I did not want to _accidentally_ destroy the world after all.

"Well for one; the virus's incubation time is less than three hours and it can kill over ten thousand people in less than twenty four hours. Two: I will modify the virus two fit our desires; whatever they may be." Wait… could he…

"You say the virus is sentient? Could you give that sentience a body? One we… I could reprogram to be loyal to us?" By 'us' I mean me of course.

A faint glimmer entered Kaen's eyes at the thought of a fully loyal crew member; where had his unshakable loyalty come from? Suspicious… "Well… I could definitely try but I'll certainly need many, _many_ test subjects human or otherwise. In fact the more variables I can get the better." Test subjects would not be hard to come across; we had a whole islands worth right here.

"Easily acquired. Now make this happen. Do you have everything(besides lab rats) you need for research?" I fucking hoped he did

A notification had appeared before me after the doctor told me what would be required.

 **Quest Acquired: Bring The Doctor What He Needs To Make Your New Crewmember!**

 **The mad doctor has discovered a super virus from the distant past; this can only end in disaster or profit. Which is up to you.**

 **Success rewards:**

 **-10,000 exp**

 **-New Crewmember**

 **-increased Relations With Dr. Sawbones**

 **-Increased Relations With Kaen**

 **-Increased Relations With ?**

 **Failure:**

 **-25 exp**

 **-Possible Death**

 **-Possible Destruction Of Planet**

 **-Reduced Relations With Dr. Sawbones**

 **Accept?**

 **Y/N**

'Giles, why have I never received a quest before? This isn't the first time I've had even a short time goal.' I selected yes as I asked this.

" _ **...The author just remembered this is a gamer story? I don't know, fuck off."**_ Helpful, very fucking helpful.

"Yep, got all the equipment I need right here… I'll inform you if there's anything I need later."

"Good, I'll check in on you once a day 'till your done." So saying I **Kamui** -ed him and everything in the room. "Alright, Kaen. Let's head into the village and get some resources."

"Affirmative." How succinct.

As we left I sent every corpse I saw to the doctor; just in case. Reaching the edge of the ship we simply stepped off the edge and floated down, though one of us did so by turning their legs to fire rather flashily, I'm going to have to instruct him on being more subtly. And now I have a quest for that… and getting food, weapons, and a shipwright if we're lucky. The only important part of the notification in this case is the rewards: Increased relations with Kaen, 250 exp, and increased crew stealth. I of course excepted this simply task.

"Shall we raze this village, sir?" Ahh, that's the initiative I like to see.

"Not yet; first we'll scout the place for things we need and either steal or just buy them, though I would prefer we purchase equipment to not draw attention to ourselves too early. We'll collect some subjects for the doctor once we're done with resource acquisition. Once the doctor is finished making our new friend we'll test them on this village."

"Then can I burn it all down?" Pyromaniac, huh? Why am I not surprised.

"We'll see…"

 **THREE_WEEKS_LATER**

The doctor had good news for me surprisingly soon; Subject A-83 was ready for testing. We had been staying in a cottage on the outskirts of town; the original owners were now failed subjects A-23 through 28.

Now being ready for testing did not mean the subject was completely ready; it just meant we needed to find a building (preferably an apartment building), make the whole place air tight, cast a wide area genjutsu to keep people from noticing anything going wrong, release the subject inside (via **Kamui** ) and use **Dustless Bewildering Cover** to observe the proceedings. We had done this 4 other times so far. When I asked Sawbones about his progress; he responded that he had managed to successfully bind the virus to a host (several times actually) but it required extensive modifications to both virus and host. Looking at Subject A-83 (dubbed: Eversor) I understood what he meant.

The subject's gender and age was completely indeterminable behind a thick layer of black… material. It's fingers ended in long, strangely syringe like claws on the end of each hand. It was six and a half feet of madness and hate all topped with a skull shaped… helmet? On it's chest was written Α-XXII in a dark, glossy crimson. Its eyes glowed a baleful blue in its containment tube.

The creature released a loud " _ **WRYYYYYYYY**_ " upon seeing lifeforms. The resulting massacre was glorious; severed limbs everywhere, people hanging from the ceiling by their intestines, burning piles of small children, dead and dying lay around, all mutilated nearly beyond recognition. Simply beautiful. Now I just need to collect the bastard. A quick **Kamui** settled that little problem.

"So doc, was this a success?" I think it was but I'm not the scientist here.

"Yessssssssss, A-83 shows great potential... further testing is required." I think the good doctor has lost his fucking mind; but who am I to judge?

"I do hope you can bring me adequate results, doctor." I truly did, this project was very entertaining but I wanted out of this fucking town. Unfortunately for me, their really aren't many grounds in the middle of the fucking ocean!

"Oh, I assure you this one will be most satisfactory." He seems very self assured; perhaps this really will work this time. Seeing the twisted monsters in there cage writhing in their agonized madness; perhaps not.


	12. Chapter 12

**Down With The Sickness**

Eversor was a startling success. Sawbones had informed me that he had to sacrifice the airborne nature of the virus to bond it with a host, however it was still extremely dangerous and lethal even when only spread by touch(in fact the doctor had managed to decrease the incubation time). The virus was now a horrifically lethal concoction that Eversor(and therefore I) has complete control over. Sawbones had used many experimental drugs to make the creature stronger, to the point where their were more drugs flowing through it's veins than actual blood. Kaen's extreme body temperature (even when in human form) kept the virus from infecting him and I was apparently immune to all sickness(partially because of being the Gamer and partially because I am a on the road to true immortality(I already don't age but I can theoretically be killed(though I could just save scum).Sawbones told me that the subject already had a religious devotion to the concept of the 'Emperor' all I have to do is replace the emperor with myself, simple.

Staring into the psychotic mass of drugs and hatred masquerading as a living being's eyes I wanted to get this over with as fast as possible(though I knew I had to be extremely thorough to avoid betrayal). Sifting through the creature's mind was not a pleasant experience; it's twisted thought were full of a madness I never even contemplated. Replacing it's idea of emperor with myself was actually more difficult then I predicted; the creature fought me every step of the way, sometimes managing to undo the changes(a bad sign for how long It will remain loyal). I decided to use this opportunity to insert knowledge(from basic information to advanced tactics) directly into it's mind. After finishing the process and sweeping Its mind to make sure the changes will stick, I Informed the doctor of my success.

"Good… now we test it's loyalty." So saying, he proceeded to wake it up. Seeing those venomous blue eyes glow to life was… unsettling. It simply sat there, staring at me. "Well, tell it to do something."

"Do a jumping jack." Watching six feet of deranged fanaticism jump up and clap it's hand was an… interesting experience to say the least. "Do a handstand." Giving it several commands it followed each to the letter instantly. "It would appear it worked, Doctor. I do believe this project is over." Now let's see if he can give this madness up or will he let it consume the world.

"Nonono **No!** We're just getting started! A-53, Kill him!" Betrayal, ehh? Well, I'll just have to fix that.

A malformed monster burst out of one of the tanks to attack me, but before it even got close Eversor was already tearing it to pieces. Hmmm, it would seem the indoctrination worked well; though I had given him no order… commendable loyalty(for I did not actually 'program' him to respond to threats upon my person like this). Glancing into the doctor's eyes I was met with a surprise; he had been infected by the virus. Apparently his prediction about being dead bones meaning he couldn't get infected was (mostly) false; he wasn't killed by the virus but he had been slowly losing his will to it. Well, burning him to ashes should kill the virus in him.

 **New Quest: Burn Some Sense Into Sawbones!**

 **Cure Dr. Sawbones Of The Blackwing Virus… With FIRE!**

 **Use a fire weaker than Amaterasu to burn the good doctor to ashes before he kills you and/or the only successful subject.**

 **Success:**

 **-25,000 Exp**

 **-Increased Relationship With Dr. Sawbones**

 **-Increased Relationship With Eversor**

 **Failure:**

 **-Death**

 **-Destruction of Planet/Universe**

 **Side Objectives:**

 **-Destroy The Virus For Good/Kill Blackwing**

 **-Keep Eversor Alive**

 **250 Exp Per Objective Completed**

 **Quest Cannot Be Ignored**

Huh, well I guess I accept then(not like I wouldn't have even if given the choice).

"GRRRAAAARRRRAAAAHHHH! KILL HIM, KILL HIM! EVERYONE ATTACK!" Seems he's quite angry.

All around me glass tanks were shattering and twisted monsters were tearing themselves apart to get at me; often being intercepted by the much quicker and stronger Eversor. Throwing jutsu around like candy to kill the seemingly unending hordes of vile abominations as I ran towards the doctor; dodging scalpels and syringes with every step. Using metal release to create a blade I cut and burned my way through the fetid tide of mutated flesh.

Slashing a grotesque freak in two, I saw the doctor through the falling parts. A grin split my face as I lept towards the skeleton; a jet of fire already launching out to meet him.

 **Rape Face Activated!**

" **SAWBONES!"** Laughing in glee as the doctor flipped away from the fire; his movements strangely mechanical. Launching dozens of **Black Receivers** engulfed in flames at the doctor I watched his training in action; somehow making me proud even though my all encompassing RAGE! Some of the **Needles** went between his ribs(and other gaps between bones) and some were just plane dodged like a normal man; my grin only grew.

And so we danced; flames, scalpels, saws, bones, and more flew between us as we pranced about the sea of monstrous minions. A **Shinra Tensei** blew the doctor away… right into Eversor's hands. Apparently the doctor had forgotten all about the greatest monster he had made, and it cost him dearly. Eversor crushed the doctor's head between his clawed hands before leaping back into the ocean of abominations to resume killing. The blow was not enough to kill the good doctor; but it did distract him long enough for a dragon of fire to consume him utterly. At the doctor's 'death' the creatures lost what little cohesion they had; making them easy prey for Eversor and I. A **Katon: Great Fire Annihilation** finished off any survivors.

Walking over to the ashes of Dr. Sawbones I saw a black fluid trying to flee the area. I merely waited until it was far enough away from the doctors ashes and finished it with **Amaterasu**.

 **Quest Complete!** (Both burn the doctor and give the doctor all he needs to create Eversor)

 **All Side Objectives Completed!**

 **Level Up!**

 **Congratulations!**

 **You Have Reached Level 15!**

 **You Have Gained The Perk: Advanced Regeneration**

 **Advanced Regeneration: You regenerate quicker than most. Higher levels increase speed and scale of regeneration. At max level you can regenerate from a single cell in seconds. (+1 to Immortality)**

Interesting… now to deal with the doctor. **Creation Of All Things** soon had a jar in my hand and gravity manipulation had the doctor's ashes in there soon after. Grabbing Eversor I **Kamui** -ed us back back to the hideout.

 **AT_THE_HIDEOUT**

"Kaen, I'm home!"

"I do hope you do not actually plan to actually take up permanent residence here, sir." Ahh Kaen, so fun to mess with; I'll get a reaction out of you yet.

"No, I think it's time to blow this Popsicle stand… and raze it to the ground."


	13. Chapter 13

**...Burning Down, Burning Down**

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! I haven't had this much fun in 98 years!" Laughing as I stabbed a burning women trying(and failing) to shield her infant child from the flames engulfing the city courtesy of (mostly) Kaen. Picking up the baby I punted it into the horizon. "It's good! Hahahahahahaha!"

Kaen, ever the stoic bastard he is, didn't even visibly react as he cut a fleeing man in twain. "Very good, sir."

Firing a hail of flash made electrified senbon into the air , I watched as they rained down on a large group of survivors. They won't be survivors for long… " **Chibaku Tensei.** " Now they're just a burning ball of flesh and rubble floating in the sky. Bathing a building in **Amaterasu** I impaled three people on wooden stakes before Kaen helpfully set them alight.

"We should probably be finishing up soon, sir."

"{Sigh} Alright, just a second." Grabbing Kaen and Eversor(who was busily mutilating school girls), I flew us into the distance. "Are you ready to witness the power of a god!?" Quickly weaving through an obscene amount of seals with a huge grin splitting my face, I called out " **TENGAI SHINSEI!"**

At first nothing appeared to happened; the villagers kept screaming and dying, the fires kept burning and the sky stayed blue. Then a shadow appeared in the center of the village and began to grow rapidly. Villagers began to look up and gasp; seeing their approaching doom. Then the screams began to escalate a thousand fold; people were killing themselves and each other in a futile attempt to get away from the blast radius. Even Kaen seemed stunned; mouth hanging open in shock.

I had just pulled a meteor from the heavens. As it hit the ground a shock wave traveled miles around, wiping my hair about majestically. Buildings and people were crushed by the impact and those that weren't directly hit were thrown and oft torn apart by the compression wave that ripped through the village. When the dust cleared all that remained was a crater where a once thriving civilization had been.

"My god..." I heard Kaen whisper in awe.

"You called?" My laughter rang out over the empty island.


	14. Chapter 14

**On The Ro- Err, Ocean Again!**

Appearing on my swanky new Man-O'-War(schematics helpfully provided by subject 12) With Kaen and Eversor in tow, I simply couldn't stop laughing. Kaen had regained his apparently-not-so-ironclad composure and was simply staring at me whilst Eversor didn't seem to give a shit and was instead surveying the ship for threats.

"Welp, let's get going." It was time we leave; much as I knew I could take anything this World Government could dish out, I liked the idea of remaining anonymous as long as I could. I wanna see the piggies sweat in fear. "Oh, and time to resume _training~_ " My sing-song voice was clearly displeasing to them.

Kaen merely nodded, sat, and began the process of sticking multiple objects to himself with chakra. He had been having trouble with this; apparently when he pushed the intent to be _sticky_ into himself he turned to napalm. Which was good to know in itself but not so great for learning chakra control; however this did grant me a new way to train him: learning to control his own form. If he could become napalm with the intent to be sticky what else could he become? Possibilities abound with this insight.

Eversor on the other hand turned to look at me curiously; how cute. "Eversor… now you present a challenge, don't you… Begin meditating and looking for your 'core'. Once you can do that we can start on control and only after that can we move onto _real_ training." I was looking forward to seeing what Eversor could truly do at his very best; the carnage should be glorious sights to behold.

 **TWELVE_DAYS_LATER**

Sawbones was mostly regenerated now(and Eversor's reaction to him was both hilarious and tedious at the same time) and was hobbling about the ship. He had apologized profusely at his losing control to the virus. I had waved it off good naturedly(whilst secretly marking him out as a weak link in case of hypnotists and mind walkers).

"Ahhhrga, Cap-I-Tan you want see dis." Seems I had made little progress in teaching Eversor to speak…

"What is… are you fucking kidding me? We're being _raided_ by pirates?! We're a fucking Man-O'-War, no piddly schoner like that should even consider fucking with a goddamn Man-O'-War. Madara gonna have to choke a bitch?" I was _slightly_ baffled at the audacity of these pirates; I mean really, even if you can't confirm it's a marine vessel, it's still a fucking Galleon.

"May I commence burning it, sir?" Ahh Kaen, such exemplary discipline(any other rabble probably already would have attacked.

"Fire napalm at the deck and crew quarters then fire at your discretion." Always good to have artillery backing you up.

Raising his hands palms extended; he fired two blasts of almost liquid fire into the air. Smiling I followed their path as they arced through the air. By the resulting explosion I presume he hit the armory… were they literally keeping gunpowder in the crew quarters? Idiots, the lot of 'em.

"Direct hit sir." I could see(and from the screaming, hear) that, thank you very much.

"Let 'em stew for a bit… and now we make a new moon; **Shin: Chibaku Tensei**." I laughed as the ship, crew, and vast quantities of water and aquatic life were sucked into the gigantic black ball. Once the planetoid was big enough I sent it off into the heavens. Before it got too far away I ineptly infused a **Black Needle** with explosive chakra and launched it into the center; disrupting the technique and making it rain pulped flesh and wood down all over the area.

"Goddamnit boyo, ya got bits o' gits in my ashes! Do you know how long it'll take to get this shit out of my porous bones and still reforming parts? DAYS!" Okay, seems Sawbones was not appreciative of my art; the bastard.

"Alright, Kaen you and I are gonna comb the wreckage for anything of value." I had recently taught Kaen to water walk and felt this would be a good opportunity for him to practice. After forming thirty shadow clones we simultaneously leapt into the twisting currents of the sea; only to defy the gods and stand above them all.

As we searched we found little of value; until I spotted movement in the waters. Apparently someone survived my technique… unfortunate. The only thing visible about the man besides his vivid green hair and the concealing red cloak he wore; was the fact that more than half his body appeared to be mechanical…


	15. Chapter 15

**Praise Be The Omnissiah!**

"So, what the fuck is this?" I may be hyper intelligent but knowledge of advanced mechanics completely eludes me. 'Giles, ya think I should finish the job and execute this punk or kidnap him for those machines of his?'

" _ **Hmmm… kidnap him. We could definitely use a engineer and weaponsmith; if he's either he joins, if not… he dies."**_ I figured as much but wanted a second opinion.

"Alright, Kaen carry the kid back to the ship; were getting ourselves an engineer… maybe."

Just before Kaen could pick up the marimo-boy he got his head blown off by a blast of… energy of some sort; of course the attack did no real damage save turning Kaen to flames.

" _ **Plasma… This story just keeps getting more convoluted doesn't it?"**_ I have no idea what he could possibly mean by that… {Whistle whistle}.

"{Krttttzzz} 01010011 01110100 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01101110 01100001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110010 01100001 01101110 01101011 00101110 00100000 01010000 01110010 01100001 01101001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01001111 01101101 01101110 01101001 01110011 01101001 01110011 01100001 01101001 01101000"

"Kaen, what the fuck did he just say?"

"I have no idea, sir." He was partially interrupted by the boy screeching strange noises at us.

"{Krrtttzzz} 01001000 01100101 01110010 01100101 01110100 01101001 01100011 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110100 01100101 01100011 01110100 01100101 01100100 00111010 00100000 01110011 01101011 01101001 01110100 01110100 01100001 01110010 01101001 00100000 01110000 01110010 01101111 01110100 01101111 01100011 01101111 01101100 00100000 01101001 01101110 01101001 01110100 01101001 01100001 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000"

Kicking the cyborg in the head I yelled "Speak english, damn you!" Apparently I kicked him harder than I expected… hopefully he'll wake up eventually. "I'm sure he'll be fine." Sparks shot out of his damaged eye. "Hopefully."

Kaen simply picked the cyborg up by his ankle and dragged him along as we headed back to the ship. I'm sure he didn't deliberately bash the boy's head against every piece of rubble he could find and he definitely didn't smash the kid face first into the deck; one hundred percent sure.

Sawbones took one look at the mechanical man and declared there was no way in hell he could fix that, "Damn it captain; I'm a doctor, not a mechanic!"

unfortunately I didn't think the King of Hell could fix machines so we just had to hope I hadn't killed the poor bastard.

 **THREE_HOURS_LATER**

I was testing my Ki and Magic out while we drifted aimlessly; waiting for the kid to wake up, when an ear splittingly shrill shriek split the night. Rushing over to the restrained cyborg(who I assumed had made the noise) and saw him thrashing about in his restraints.

"01000100 01101001 01100101 00100000 01001000 01100101 01110010 01101001 -tic scum!" Hmm, seems I had beaten the english language into him; I'll have to see if that works on Eversor.

"Are you a mechanic?" He stopped screaming and merely stared at me; seemingly dumbfounded by the question.

"Am I a mechanic? I am a machinegoddamned Adeptus Mechanicus! I am no mere engineer!"

"Sooooooo, yes?" He seemed baffled and highly indignant.

"...Yes, yes I am." Progress, hurray.

"Good, we could use an engineer. You know how to build build weapons?" That would be useful; we can't rely solely on me and Kaen to defend the ship.

"I could literally build an apocalypse class war ship from scratch if I had the time and resources." I'm going to go out on a limb and assume he's referring to some kind of starship… that could be very useful.

"I'll take that as a yes. Alright, that settles it. You're joining my crew as the engineer. Welcome aboard."

"WHAT, I AM A LOYAL SERVANT OF THE- ahh fuck it, I'm in. Names tfg687e49tds6f4-"

"Imma call you Tragger." No fucking way in hell am I gonna constantly repeat that bullshit.

"...Traggers fine."


	16. Chapter 16

**Taste Of Pain**

I was standing on the bow of the ship, firing progressively thinner and more focused blasts of Ki from my fingers when a two meter wide beam of purple energy blasted through my ship. Whoever did that is going to _deeply_ regret it… for the short period they'll be alive.

Looking up in the direction the attack came from I spotted a strange creature smirking down at me. It was a vaguely reptilian blue humanoid with a long thin tail and green… gems on its shoulders, head, chest, and by its ankles. Its burgundy eyes danced with malicious mirth as it aimed another blast directly at me.

I had cast an illusion over the being the moment we locked eyes, convincing it the blast had struck true. Appearing behind it I jabbed a chakra rod towards its back and was stunned when it dodged and grabbed the rod, using it to throw me forward. As I pitched past him I made a single hand seal and prepared to burn the bastard; and was kneed in the gut forcing me to release the incomplete fire dragon to early or be burned alive from the inside out. The malformed dragon barely even fazed my attacker; though he did seem surprised it existed at all. Moving my head to avoid a thin purple beam aimed at it, I fired an **Explosive Black Needle** at the cur I smirked when he only minutely dodged; the rod exploded and his screech was music to my ears. Looking through the clearing smoke I saw that the creature had lost its right arm to the blast.

The creature growled furiously and fired hundreds of Ki blasts at me; blasts I collected with **Kamui**. When the creature finally gave up on his clearly ineffective attack I fired them all right back at him; from every possible direction. Its hole ridden body(more holes than flesh, really) plummeted into the writhing sea below.. and a green hand plunged through my chest.

 **Kamui** -ing away I looked and saw an inverted version of the creature I had just killed glaring hatefully at me as my blood dripped from their hand. My vision was swimming and only my advanced regeneration(which I had cut myself to pieces repeatedly to get to level 15) was keeping me alive.

"You killed him." So that creature had been male.

"Yeah, I have a tendency to do that; runs in the family you see." I was trying to buy time to heal whilst using my hands partially to hold my innards in and partially to conceal the fact that it was healing visibly as we spoke(though not nearly quickly enough for my taste).

"He was my brother." So that's why they look so similar.

"Murdering families; also a family trait, though usually it's our own family we kill." I was still not healed enough to fight even near my capacity.

"I'm going to kill you." So saying the creature aimed another blast at me… and was consumed in violet flames cored with black. I smirked until the screaming, burning creature rushed me; burning much slower than it should be. I was too injured to **Kamui** as the creature's hand wrapped around my throat and snapped my left arm at the elbow, nearly severing it.

I still had enough fight in me to stab the bitch through the gut as black spots appeared in my vision, it barely even reacted so filled with blood-rage and pain as it was. For the first time in many years I wondered if I would die here… and vowed to murderize this cunt when I reload if I do. Detonating the Chakra rod I was blown away(missing most of my front half and my entire left arm) and the creature's torso was nearly gone; however it was somehow still alive. It gave a murderous shriek and and tried to rush me(noticeably slower than before) once again; apparently having totally abandoned any form of logic and forgotten it could use Ki.

Just before the creature reached my it was riddled with bone spikes causing it to stumble slightly before resuming… for a second before its head vanished in a ball of plasma.

"And that's why I have a crew…" I whispered as I fell from the sky, what little energy I had leaving my as the adrenaline wore off. Before I completely passed out I felt a pair of arms catch me as I fell.

"Sleep well, captain."


	17. Chapter 17

**Plans For The Future**

It had been nearly a month since I had barely escaped death at the hands of what I learned to be an arcosian. I was fully recovered from my wounds and my **Advanced Regeneration** had reached level 20. I was now vigorously training myself as I had seen what Ki could do and refused to not have such a powerful(if not very versatile) tool at my disposal; the complexities of Magic still eluded my grasp but I was making some progress. I had also come to a decision.

"I despise Arcosians. If I see an Arcosian I will kill it regardless of circumstances. I will find their home world and destroy it. Then I will hunt down each and every survivor until I have exterminated their race." I knew this was a goal for the distant future; currently I couldn't even leave the planet, let alone launch full scale attacks on others. But their would come a day when I had an Apocalypse class warship and a crew to direct it. And when that day came I would Annihilate every single Arcosian.

"{Sigh} We know, sir. This is the thirtieth time you've declared such." Apparently Kaen was getting exasperated. Regardless I would stick to this goal even if new goals manifested themselves. Ignoring him I continued speaking.

"Thusly, I will be ramping up all of our training; if our training doesn't kill us our enemies certainly won't." I nearly died against enemies I learned where nowhere near as strong as this galaxy could produce; I wanted to be ready next time. My announcement was met with a course of groans.

 **TWO_WEEKS_LATER**

We had spotted an island in the distance and were planning to restock on supplies; not that we needed many considering I'm the only one who actually _needs_ to eat or drink(Kaen can live on oxygen forever, Tragger can run off solar power and has monstrously powerful and efficient micro generators built into him, Eversor is a living virus, and Sawbones is undead). We were mostly just going to see if the had anything interesting; events or objects were both fine. Leaving Eversor to guard the ship, we headed out to look for anything of interest.

"I hope _something's_ going on, otherwise this was a waste of time… maybe I'll skin someone to spice things up a bit." It turns out Tragger was a bit of a sadist and could be extremely childish at times; makes sense considering he's only fourteen.

"We could always raze the place if we get bored." It seems I had underestimated how much of a pyromaniac Kaen was…

"Not just yet, we still need to ascertain whether or not the have anything of interest and flames could burn such things before they're ours." To be honest I have no real reason to go to an island; only I eat and creation of all things or fishing can deal with that, I can make wood/metal out of pretty much nothing and I rather doubt I'll find any crew members on this island. I just want to get off the fucking ship for once, damn it!

Pulling Into port I was surprised by the lack of people and the general state of disrepair everything seemed to be in. Looking around I spotted dried blood splattered around… but no bodies. "Something's very wrong here. This seems… Familiar. Tragger, are you susceptible to disease?"

Shaking his head he replied, "No captain, I'm more machine than man and have little robots flowing through my veins to keep out sickness. Nurgle himself would have to inflict the pox for it to affect me." So probably not a liability.

"Sawbones head back to the ship and send Eversor out here." If this is what I think it is having someone I know can be infected with us is a terrible idea. If I'm wrong… well Eversor is a better fighter than Sawbones anyway.

"Aye, Captain." So saying he ran back to the ship and a few minutes later Eversor was at my side.

"Eversor, do you sense the sickness in this land?" I had learned that Eversor's control over the virus and ability to mutate it meant he could sense any disease and exert a limited degree of control over them. I was working on training him to have greater control; my own person Nurgle would be a great boon.

"Yessss Sire. Da ill be 'ere in numbahs far beyond t'what ah has seen afore." Okaaaaaay, gonna have to put more work into fixing his speech pattern; that was almost fucking incomprehensible.

"Great, just fucking great. I'm guessing zombies. Anyone else got a guess?" As I said this I kept careful watch of our surroundings; being extra mindful of any doors and windows.

"Extremely fast acting necrosis that turned the bodies to mush in minutes or seconds before what was left behind was washed away by rain?"

"I considered it Tragger, but Eversor just said the 'ill' are here in great number; which implies that they're still here and ostensibly alive. So I'm thinking it's zombies." I reeeeaaaaallllly hope this isn't Blackwing.

As we moved further into the city signs of violence became more obvious and gratuitous in nature; blood stains and pieces(only pieces) of bodies were more and more prevalent. We had yet to actually encounter any resistance even when we went into buildings to loot valuables.

Suddenly Eversor screamed "ANIMA LANGUOREM ADHIBE!" at the top of his lungs and rushed a… humanoid I had not noticed. He sunk his claws into the shambling man and tore him apart. Suddenly we were surrounded by hundreds of them; baying for our flesh and blood, tearing through walls and each other to get at us. The veritable army of the damned flowed towards us. Eversor was seemingly swallowed by the horde(though I could still see him ripping and tearing through the mass of the rotting legion), Kaen was setting everything around him on fire and using his gigantic blade to cut down huge swathes of gangrenous foes before him, Tragger had unfolded dozens of strange weapons(from chainsaws and drills to machine guns and plasma pistols) and was using them to clear a path to higher ground, and I... was laughing.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH, WHAT A DAY! WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY!"


	18. Chapter 18

**OH, WHAT A DAY!**

"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I was having way too much fun carving my way through the masses of undead freaks. The way they fell apart before my every attack; simply glorious. But as with all things it must come to an end. Eventually our enemies numbers began to dwindle and we thought them defeated… we were wrong. From the distance a mountainous pile of corpses began to rise and meld together; flowing like a river of gore. Even the bodies of those slain by my forces started to drift toward the emerging form of a gargantuan zombie. We burned them to ashes once we noticed. It meant nothing when our foe had finally coalesced into its truly horrendous form; its rotting carcass a monument to ruin and decay.

" **HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR THE GREAT LORD NURGLE HAS BLESSED ME WITH DAEMONHOOD! BLACKWING HAS ASCENDED TO BRING RUIN UPON THIS PATHETIC WORLD! I SHALL** ─" I had grown tired of listening to the windbag speak; so I blew his head off. **Eighty Gods Vacuum Fists** was a very effective method of ending conversations rather suddenly. Unfortunately he didn't deign to stay dead, regenerating all the massive holes I had blown through him; though he was noticeably smaller than before hand.

"Seems your gods support means very little down here." In hindsight, provoking a chaos god may not have been the best idea. The fact that Blackwing had somehow escaped into the world and managed to gain the attention of a god was disturbing; the fact that that god took offense to my goading and suddenly gave its new champion a boost didn't help things at all. The monstrous creature suddenly grew in size and power (from what I could sense(which is a lot) its power had just quadrupled) and its form become significantly more coherent; no longer looking like a mass of corpses and instead looking like a horrible diseased and decaying fat… frog… rabbit… deer… thing. **(AN: Looks like a greater demon of Nurgle)** His many open wounds wept putrid pus and bile that pooled around him; hordes of rotting zombies and putrefacting demons rose from the ocean of filth that surrounded him. "Huh, that's probably not a good thing. Focus on the lesser demons; I'll handle this mothafucka'." So saying I lept into the air; randomly carpet bombing the monstrosities beneath me as I passed over them. A notification popped up in front of me but I swiped it away without reading it; though my **Rinne Sharingan** had recorded it anyway.

Upon reaching the fugly bitch I fired thousands of **Black Receivers** infused with random types of chakra. As explosions and implosions of numerous variety detonated all over the foul abomination I danced around the sluggish blows and blasts of putrid mucus, pus, and an innumerable amount of unnameable parasites and vile fluids.

" _ **You do know that fighting a Daemon Prince is considered all but impossible right? They have only ever been sealed, never killed. And this one is being directly supported by Nurgle If you bothered to observe it you'd see that all of it's stats are question marks."**_

' _Your point?'_ I thought back, dodging a barrage of rotting, toothy worms.

" _ **{Sigh} Do you have some kind of ace I don't know about or are we just fucked. You've hit this thing with enough power to kill half the planet and it's all but shrugged it off."**_

I smirked before I responded, ' _Yeah, I got something…'_ Glancing about, I teleported behind a lesser daemon; grabbed it by the throat and shot back into the sky. ' _I've been thinking about suicide moves…'_ I impaled the vile creature with dozens of small **Receivers** and began to channel monstrous amounts of power through them into the daemon. ' _...and decided to see if I could force one on someone else…'_ The daemon began to produce a bright light from the many gaping wounds and corroded orifices covering it's body.


	19. This Is The End

**BOOM**

!

Unfortunately for Madara, his crew, and all of existence; Madara, in his ignorance of what exactly a demon was, hadn't taken into account what a technique to convert all energy into force would do. The desperate demon -using what little intelligence and survival instinct it had- had attempted to flee into the warp, a dimension made entirely of energy.

Madara's untested technique performed absolutely perfectly, converting all of the targets energy into kinetic force in an instant. Unfortunately the technique wasn't able to differentiate the energy of one particular demon from the energy of the Warp itself, nor any of its denizens.

The conversion took centuries, slowed by the desperate deities of all creeds futile attempts to halt the inexorable march uniformity and true, final death. At first the Lord of Change supported this unprecedented attack, seeing only the transformation it brought; once he saw the total, unchanging nonexistence it left in its wake he became the most desperate to stop it. In the end the Fate Weaver learned what it truly was to lose hope as all his plans crumbled to ash in his desperate hands; he met his fate broken and defeated, a mirthless chuckle his final words.

At roughly the same time the Deceiver's opinion changed, so to did his rival. For what Tzeentch saw beyond the conversion was exactly what the Lord of Stagnation wanted; a completely unchanging universe. The Lord of Decay laughed joyously as the blank wave of unmaking swept over his kingdom and himself; embracing the end of everything with open arms.

Khorne was of much the same mind as Gorkamorka, and simply fought against the change just to fight one last time. In his fiery thoughts a hopeless battle was just as good, if not better, than any other. The two deities of such similar minds fought together against the wave of force… and met their ends with smiles on their lips and laughter on their tongues.

Slaanesh met the encroaching wave the same way she met every thing; more drugs. The god of over indulgence went out with the greatest party ever thrown. The sheer mind boggling amount of sex, drugs, and rock and roll enough to shatter the minds of the most faithful Imperial saint. The party didn't even slow as the wave hit; not until everyone was converted anyway. She-Who-Thirsts' laughter echoed with the last notes the discordant band played.

The Emperor fought valiantly to protect his precious Imperium; but weakened as he was he could do nothing to stop the wave. In his desperation to save his people he savagely attacked the world, ripping apart the minds of billions to get what he sought; and eventually he found it. Three secrets that might, _just might_ , save mankind. Sacrificing all his power he wrenched thousands of worlds into the webway, crafting a single, massive crystal and a vat of dark liquid in this strange realm before destroying every access point into it. He smiled as he faded away; content with the knowledge that his people would survive, even though the universe might not.

And while similar scenes replayed for millennia in the Warp, the whole event took less than a picosecond as far as Madara was concerned; time and the Warp having an at best loose acquaintance. He had barely enough time to note the portal the demon made before said portal turned to a massive explosion before his frantically swirling eyes. The explosion swept over the planet In an matter of seconds, spreading thought the universe in a scant few more.

However, a few seconds was more than enough time for the Ghost of the Uchiha to act, he had been running laps around light since before he became host to the Juubi; when he cranked it up to eleven there was little he couldn't do.

Madara Motherfucking Uchiha just blew up the universe, bitch.

Who, if anyone, survived remains to be seen.

 **The End, For Now.**


End file.
